Self love has a bit of an image to it. You may think of yoga bending, crystal wearing, kale chomping hippy goddesses when you think of self love, but that isn’t so. Self love is the act of loving yourself, and so it is completely personal to you. You have to find what works for you.

Loving yourself isn’t always easy. We can be pretty harsh on ourselves sometimes, but why? Why do we say things to ourselves that we would never dream of saying to anybody else? I don’t really know the answer to that, but I know that it needs to stop.

Being horrible to yourself isn’t productive. It brings you down, knocks your confidence and stops you from living the good life you should be living. And the thing is, it’s easy to love yourself a little more.

Little changes can build up and make a huge difference. And before you know it they will become second nature.


10 steps to better self love


Know that you are important.

You may not be the leader of the world, but your opinions and your feelings are important. Tell yourself regularly that you matter, and that your opinions count. This will grow and give you confidence in what you are saying, and also what you are feeling.

Know that you are worth it.

Not only are you important, but you are worth something. You are worth the effort it initially takes to love yourself. Understand that and before long self love will be complete second nature.

Surround yourself with good people.

We all have those friends that are complete drama-llamas, nothing is easy and there is always something major going on. Those people are not the best kinds of people to be around. You’ll always be brought into the latest drama, which is no good for your well being.

Make sure to spend plenty of time with those people who raise you up rather than knock you down. Supportive people are sometimes tricky to find, but once you do, hold onto them.

Recite positive affirmations.

I love positive words. They have power. It’s one of those things that you won’t believe the difference they can make until you try it. I’ve written a couple of other posts about this, specifically affirmations for the morning and for night time.

A quick google search will show you tonnes of others, or write down some words which have meaning to you. Making it personal will make it more likely those words will have a deeper effect.

Indulge in gentle exercise.

We’re not talking running marathons or 2 hours at the gym here, we’re talking gentle stretches, yoga or a fast walk. Do whatever feels comfortable for you based on your current fitness levels or abilities.

Exercise triggers the release of endorphins, and these endorphins give you a more positive feeling. You will also find your stress levels reduced and you will feel more awake during the day. Incorporate small levels of exercise into your daily routine.

Learn to own your flaws.

Nobody is perfect, nobody can ever be perfect, perfection is not humanly possible.

Write a list of your strengths and your weaknesses. Take those weaknesses and put a positive spin on them. For example, I have very curly hair which is a pain in the bum to style. But not many people have such naturally curly hair like mine, it is unique and makes me stand out. See what I did there. I have taken ownership of what I consider a flaw and put a positive spin on it. Give it a whirl.

Make time for self care.

Oh I love self care! Read my other post I’ve written about it with tonnes of ideas on things you can do to look after yourself a bit better.

The most important thing about self care is making it personal to you. What relaxes one person could have completely the opposite effect on someone else. Find the things that work for you and stick to them.

Forgive yourself.

People make mistakes, don’t beat yourself up about them. This could be past mistakes made years ago or something that has just happened.

Let it go. It has happened and cannot be changed, no point wasting time dwelling on it. You’ll feel so much better for it, like a weight has been lifted.

Identify things to change in your life.

Look through the various aspects of your life and decide what isn’t working for you. This could be your career, your eating plan, or even a partner. If it is something detracting from your life then change it.

It can be a bit scary to begin with, making some serious life changes, but in the long run you will feel better for it.

Create attainable goals for the future.

What is important for you and where do you see yourself in five years’ time? Having attainable and manageable goals will keep you focused and make your life more meaningful.

It will also give you a clear idea of what is actually important and what you want to spend more time on. If you’re like me and a bit of a dreamer it also gives you something to stare out of the window and think about for a while.

Give these tips a go, see how you get on, and let me know if you have any luck in the comments!


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